Guest List and Presents
I can hardly believe I've made a wedding spreadsheet. I got the idea from a book, and my Virgotic mind went *ping*.... how come I didn't think of it?? So now I have a shared document with my sister and wedding planner consisting of the guest list (which is not quite finished yet); their names, their replies, their choices of entree, and even a space to record their gift if it is applicable (as we simply aren't registered, and if you're not registered then you can't expect people to go on a wing and a prayer, right?.... Right?)
On the subject of presents I really don't know what to do here. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy presents and appreciate the thought and gesture behind them. However, I can never think of anything I really WANT, or at least anything that would be appropriate. Things that I need are not what one usually asks for in this type of situation, and are too expensive to expect anyone to actually consider (IE: the $5000 homeopathic program that will be useful in my practise... not really a wedding gift. And it's $5000). I spent most of last week looking at china patterns (much to my dismay, although the actual experience with Grandma and Mom was pretty fun), visited this crazy place in my hometown run by the world's crankiest woman with discontinued patterns... it's been a bit surreal. So surreal, in fact, that I've been rendered unable to make any decisions at all and so have not registered for anything. Ever. Likely we will end up registering somewhere, even if it is with an independent local artisan who can be comissioned to make all of our fine "china" as one of a kind art pieces.
I'm told I have to register. I'm told that I'm supposed to treat this event as a sort of "gift grab." I'm told it's expected, customary even, to demand presents from everyone I know. I really hope that the people who know me realize that it isn't me doing most of this. Information being passed down family vines does not necessarily come from this root. Somehow, this vine developed many branches, and they really like to rustle their leaves. I feel at this point it may be time to make an official statement about this, so here goes:
I like presents. But not nearly as much as I love seeing you.
I need for nothing, I want for little.
If inside you there is a great desire, or nagging etiquette guilt that insist that you must gift a bride, I welcome your contribution.
There is no obligation but to arrive, smile, and celebrate.
On the subject of presents I really don't know what to do here. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy presents and appreciate the thought and gesture behind them. However, I can never think of anything I really WANT, or at least anything that would be appropriate. Things that I need are not what one usually asks for in this type of situation, and are too expensive to expect anyone to actually consider (IE: the $5000 homeopathic program that will be useful in my practise... not really a wedding gift. And it's $5000). I spent most of last week looking at china patterns (much to my dismay, although the actual experience with Grandma and Mom was pretty fun), visited this crazy place in my hometown run by the world's crankiest woman with discontinued patterns... it's been a bit surreal. So surreal, in fact, that I've been rendered unable to make any decisions at all and so have not registered for anything. Ever. Likely we will end up registering somewhere, even if it is with an independent local artisan who can be comissioned to make all of our fine "china" as one of a kind art pieces.
I'm told I have to register. I'm told that I'm supposed to treat this event as a sort of "gift grab." I'm told it's expected, customary even, to demand presents from everyone I know. I really hope that the people who know me realize that it isn't me doing most of this. Information being passed down family vines does not necessarily come from this root. Somehow, this vine developed many branches, and they really like to rustle their leaves. I feel at this point it may be time to make an official statement about this, so here goes:
I like presents. But not nearly as much as I love seeing you.
I need for nothing, I want for little.
If inside you there is a great desire, or nagging etiquette guilt that insist that you must gift a bride, I welcome your contribution.
There is no obligation but to arrive, smile, and celebrate.
posted by Em at
7:08 AM
2 Comments:
The only thing I will say is that make some sort of registery. You can register your honeymoon. Use it to upgrade your kitchen or bathroom stuff. get more bedlinen. and I say this cause if you don't there are certain people who will insist on getting you guys a gift and generally speaking unless they know you guys super well, your not really gonna like it, and after you open it it won't grace the light of day.
Better you pick it out than them.
When my parents got married, they were faced with the same dilemma. They ended up telling all of their guests that if they wanted to give a gift, please write a check for whatever amount rather than buying something. Sounds kinda tacky, BUT any/all monies received were put towards a down payment on their first house (the one I grew up in!). Apparently all their guests thought it was great, because they were really giving something of lasting value...
Just my two cents, Miss Em :)
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